Transplant - Day Thirty-seven (+20)

We did not get to leave today. I guess I got my hopes up but it was hard not to. I was crushed although I had a slight feeling it might not work out. I knew that anything could happen that would prevent us from leaving today and it did. From now on I won't believe we are leaving until we are walking out the front door! LOL! The virus that was found in his stool also showed up this morning in his blood and in his urine. The doctor was not comfortable with him leaving with this going on. Although it is disappointing we agree and we understand. We want what is best for Landen. If we had left the hospital we would've been coming right back. The good news is that the treatment has already been started so hopefully this won't be too much of a setback. Before we found this out it was already a rough morning trying to get Landen to take his medicine. He fights it with everything within him and if you know him you know how strong he is! He is tough! This makes medicine time very difficult. Once he is used to it though it won't be a problem. I just don't know how long that will take! His stomach was bothering him this morning and he ended up getting sick. After some medicine and some rest he felt a little better and had a decent afternoon. He's not feeling great tonight but as the doctor said this morning this is transplant. The ups and downs are part of the process. The hard days are necessary to get to better days. I will admit I had a meltdown this morning. Thankfully, it was my first one but it really helped to get some emotion out. It was just a mixture of things, the rough morning, the disappointing news, and the fact that today is Brayden's 10th birthday. It was so hard not to be able to be together and celebrate. Thankfully, Heather was able to make his day fun and special and I am so grateful for that. Plus we can celebrate another time and we will. Brayden was so understanding and that helped a lot! He is a great kid!!

Landen got mail this morning so we were opening it before the team came in. When I read a card that said "Thanks, God, that even when things don't go according to our plans...You're up SOMETHING GOOD in our lives." That slight feeling I had that we wouldn't be leaving today became a greater feeling after reading this card. It's like God prepared me to receive the news. I'm so thankful He did that. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been to take it if that had not been the case. All week we've been discussing plan A and plan B for today since it is Brayden's birthday. One plan for if we stayed and one plan if we got to leave. Neither plan worked out and that's okay! God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a reason and a plan and it's a perfect one so we will trust Him!